May 19, 2019 [5th Sunday
Easter] ● Acts 14:21-27
● Psalm 145 ●
● Revelation
21:1-5a ● + John
13:31-33a, 34-35 ●
Title: The
Participation Trophy
[_01_] Does “participation” deserve
a trophy or an award, an honor?
Is “participation” an honor?
Perhaps, you have been in conversations about
sports or little league or travel-soccer and competitions or on the opposite end of someone’s diatribe
against giving someone a trophy for
participation.
Some people say No….
I’m quoting a psychologist now…. “For
example, instead of dealing with defeat by telling our kids that “everyone’s a
winner at heart,” we should praise them for how hard they hustled, what they
did right and how they improved.
But it’s not just the “losers” we need to worry about; it’s the “winners” too. Phrases like
“You’re a winner” or “You’re a natural” can actually be toxic to how kids deal
with losing. As the work of child psychologist Carol Dweck shows us, praising
kids for their innate talents (in this study’s case, their intelligence)
actually makes it more difficult for them to cope when they’re actually
confronted with losing.” (Psychology Today blog, Nov. 7, 2014)
So … going back to my question ..how
important is participation. Participation counts.
It may or may not need a trophy, but
participation counts.
[_02_] When I was about 13 years old, my sister and
youngest sibling was born and came into our family.
That day, my brothers and I went to
our municipal/town pool – as per usual – and my mother went to the hospital and
when she came home we were one more.
The entry of my sister into the house
was what I am calling a PARTICIPATION moment.
It was not about having a
PARTICIPATION trophy, but nevertheless, a PARTICIPATION question.
Now I was 13 at the time, of course I
had life all figured out.
But
with a new human being, now I did not have life all figured out, how this was
going to work.
So, I watched what other people did
around my sister. Was I caught up and overwhelmed also by their joy?
Not really.
But, nevertheless, I did learn to
participate in their love, and this participation was an honor and the
participation moments were moments of growth for me.
[_03_] And,
this is what I suggest what Jesus means by the commandment “love one another as
I have loved you…”
That is, will you – will I –
participate?
And, for those of us who have watched
a child grow whether as a parent, grandparent, sibling, teacher, coach, family
member, that this participation requires some knowledge…mayb the acquiring or
learning of knowledge that we do not already have…and that are called
participate in. Whether you are age 73 or 13 or 103.
[_04_] I think we recognize that “knowledge” is something we area always acquiring that it
comes from outside of ourselves. For this reason, we are never without a device
that has wi-fi or the ability to search by GPS.
I was absolutely stunned the other day
when a young person – carrying a smart phone – asked me for directions to an
address on Woodside Avenue near Valley Way.
I was honored to participate
in this, and hopeful that maybe more
people – than I think --- do stop to ask for directions and that we can
participate by our connection to others and our guidance and charity to each
other.
And, Jesus’ command to love another as
I have loved you reminds that our lives are connected ..
Father Ronald Knox in a sermon
observes it is harmonious with both our faith and reason to pray for each other
… both for children yet to be born, for mothers and fathers…and for those whose
lives may die and pass from this life.
We are called to care for each other
and to responsible for each other for this life and the next.
Our lives on earth are interwoven,
intertwined- the child to be born. We were not meant to be solitary units here
or in the world to come. This is what it means to “love another as I have loved
you.”
All other laws are based on this
law, and also calls us to be “extreme” not only in our care for the child to be
born but also for the mother and father and family who must raise the child. I
credit our parishioner, Professor Charles Camosy of Fordham for that sentence
and his writing on the “consistent life ethic”
[_05_] A few years after my sister was born, we
were together for her wedding and wedding rehearsal at a church in southern
California, in San Diego.
This was another little lesson about
participation and knowledge and love.
I was in this church for the very
first time for the rehearsal and trying to be helpful, as the priest. But, you
can’t get around the fact that I am not only the priest, but also, now, the
brother, the son, the kid they’ve known for decades, et cetera.
So, who am I tell everyone where to
stand and to “guide” this rehearsal. I was both a participant and a leader.. kind of like all weddings.
And, so at the beginning of the
rehearsal, I start to tell the other “participants” the following:
-
The
bride will stand here
-
The
groom will stand here.
-
The
maid of honor will go here and do this…et cetera….
My sister objected to my level of detail and
organization and – daresay my “labeling.”
Labeling is bad, right?
So, my sister – “why can’t we use everyone’s
name?”
i.e., I am your sister, Jeff is your
brother-in-law-to-be, the maid of honor you have known for 30 years.
So, I started calling everyone by their
names. We were family I did not need name tags.
“Love one another as I have loved you.” Jesus
loved and died for you, by name, not for people in general, but for you, for
me.
He knows you and me by name.
We might recall that it is not KNOWLEDGE that
enables us to participate and love another person.
Rather, love enables us to know and
participate.
Love
is the beginning of knowledge. Love one
another as I have loved you. Participation. It’s an honor. [_06_] [_fin_]
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