SUNDAY 30 December 2018 [ HOLY
FAMILY SUNDAY
]
• Sirach 3:2-6,12-14 • Psalm
128 or Psalm 84 • Colossians 3:12-21 • Luke 2:41-52 •
Title: Holy Family Sunday: Surive, Sustain...
[_01_] I need to hear something more
than once for it to sink in, to understand, to comprehend. As Jesus says, “he
who has ears, let him hear.” (Matthew
11:15).
I may need to hear something more than
once, repeatedly.
When I was preparing the December 30th
Mass schedule, I asked Father _ to say 9:30 am Mass. He promptly responded
that would be away. I thanked him for his note and did not write down what he
told me.
Then, I created the schedule and put
it up in the sacristy with his name as the priest for 9:30 am on Sunday
December 30. He told me again that he
would be away. I said thanks, and promptly forgot this as well.
Finally, last Thursday, I emailed him
to confirm that he would be here on Sunday December 30 at 9:30 am. He reminded
me again. My bad. Finally, it dawned on
me. LISTEN. LISTEN.
Sometimes, we have to hear things more
than once. Repetition helps.
As Jesus says, “he who has ears, let
him hear.” (Matthew 11:15).
[_02_] The family is a place for us to have ears, to
hear.
What do we hear? What lessons are
REPEATED for us in our families, in family life?
And, when I say “family life”, I
remind myself and all of us that we all have a family history and family
experience that has made us the children of God, the young adults, the adults,
the women and men we are. And, our
family history is a place of REPETITION.
[_03_] First,
SURVIVAL. This repetition teaches about SURVIVAL, about remaining alive. For a
child to survive, to remain alive, he or she needs repeated – daresay constant
connection and affection with the family and especially with his or her mother. A very small child, as we understand, holds
so tightly to his or mother that he does not even know the mother and child
could have separate personalities or social security numbers. It is true that this BONDING may take a little
while to develop, but once it does develop, it teaches both the parent and the
child that survival and intimacy are one and the same. It takes repetition. Family life teaches us
about survival and coming alive. We do not come alive – or survive - as
individuals but in the family unit.
[_04_] 2nd,
SUSTAINING. We are also SUSTAINED in the
family, not simply sustained by our own individual efforts.
I believe we are sustained – especially
-- by the repetition of forgiveness.
And, in the family unit – especially
under the same roof – we can experience how beautiful and effective it is to
forgive someone.
It is relatively easy to withhold
forgiveness to harbor a grudge against someone whom we see only occasionally …
let’s say we are speaking of a co-worker we see a few times per month. On the
other hand, is not true that the lessons we learn about forgiveness to many
people – at home, at work, at school anywhere - who might trespass against us?
In my own experience, I have found
that I need not only my own will and my own energy to extend forgiveness but
also God’s help. I need prayer, quiet time. I need repetition.
There is s saying that time heals all
wounds…but I have also found that it depends on what you are doing with that
time.
I can recall in certain instances, I
have held tightly to a grudge because I was not yet ready to pray for the
person, to forgive.
In other instances, I can recall
praying for someone, and then experiencing great calm.
In one instance, I recall praying for
someone, not seeing the person for about a month or so. And, when I did, the
first though in my head was, “oh yeah, I was supposed to be mad at you.” (Fortunately, I did not say this out loud.).
Why had my anger subsided? It was not
because of my own efforts, but because of God’s gift and grace. And, in the interim, I had been praying for
this person. I believe these prayers were examples of the necessary repetition
we need in order to forgive others, to sustain ourselves with God’s mercy.
And, through both the positive and
negative, I have learned something of the EFFECTIVENESS and the DEFECTIVNESS of
NON-FORGIVENESS.
And, by “defective”, it does not mean
that I was “defective”…but withholding the forgiveness was a defect, was a
fault… and God can change this from “defect” to “effect”, when we allow him to
work in our lives.
[_05_] We also need repetition to discover our true
calling, our true selves in life.
This applies to me, it applies even to
the 12 year old Jesus, the Son of God.
In this mysterious event at the
Temple, Mary teaches us something about the need not only for speech but also
for silence, for reflection, for prayer, especially when we are not sure what
to say.
Jesus offered an explanation, “did you
not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”
(Luke 2:49).
Jesus is insisting that Mary must have
known. And, in retrospect, it’s easy for us to say that Mary must have known.
Did you not know? Didn’t the angel tell you?
Well, yes, Mary – and also Joseph –
were visited by angels.
But, the angels did not give them a
full text download with a timeline and a predefined list of mysteries.
They may – in their hearts – have
anticipated the difficulty of separation, some fore knowledge that Jesus would
be, as Simeon says, the “fall and the rise of many in Israel.”
Isn’t it true that we may also expect
or anticipate difficulties or crises from time to time in marriage, in family, at school, at work? But, when they
happen, we still ask “why?”
Mary asks “why” today.
Mary has said – as so many parents would
– all she possibly can under the circumstances. But, then, she is silent, still
and surely her example – her interior life with God – teaches Jesus something
about his own survival, his own bond with God as his Father, and his own need
for confidence in God.
Our Blessed Mother, Mary, also needed to hear this Good News more than
once.
And, in this regard, Mary – together
with Joseph– teaches us by their REPETITION –and repeated prayers - to keep all these things, pondering them, reflecting
on them in her heart. [_fin_]
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