Sunday, October 7, 2018

December Weddings (2018-10-07, Sun-27)

7 October 2018     /   27th Sunday Ordinary Time, Year B

••   Genesis 2:18-24  • Psalm 128    •• Hebrews 2:9-11 •• + Mark 10:2-16

••       Title:   December Weddings.


[__01__]    In late December 1998, I was getting ready to go out – from home – to a wedding – from Hoboken out here in Union County (New Jersey) – and the driving and route were unfamiliar to me, it was dark and had just recently stopped snowing. And, I had never been to the particular church where the wedding was. There were about 24 inches of snow.
            My friend and I were determined to go, feeling adventurous and drove most of the way on what felt like packed powder rather than paved asphalt.
            Arriving at the church, we saw and heard a wedding with a bride, groom, priest. But there were far fewer guests as Newark Airport, JFK were closed, flights cancelled. People could not get there.
            Nevertheless, the wedding took place between 2 of the tallest people I have ever known – he was six-four and she was every bit his equal.
            That’s not really critical to the story.
            There was a doubt in my mind that we would make it.
            Would we make it? Or would we get stranded? Persevering…
            It is a question of perseverance and faith in marriage – not just on the wedding day but many days thereafter to persevere, to the finish line.
            Married people need our prayers.
            And, we are called to pray for all those who are alone or may feel alone.
            We are called to make our church for those who might feel alone.
            We read in the Book of Genesis that the man is alone and God makes a partner for him.
            We are called to be in community with others and to pray for others, to pray for married couples.

[__02.01_]  Marriage –is a high ideal, a high standard and this is not measured by how tall you are, how rich you are, how healthy you are.
          It’s a high ideal for everyone.
          Paradoxically – the paradox of marriage is that we are made for both community and solitude.

[__02.02_]    John Paul II pointed out – the human person – you and I are -  are alone because he is "different" from the visible world, from the world of living beings, all other creatures made by God.
          And, in the discernment of the call to marriage – in courtship and dating and selection of one’s spouse, we realize that we are also selecting not someone so that we will never be alone…but someone with whom we can be alone, and feel in touch with God’s presence through this one person.
          It’s a high ideal, it’s a tall order, marriage. Getting married is an act of faith, of trust in the other person, in oneself, and in God who made us to love and be loved.
          Marriage, then, does not cure or eliminate loneliness …but enables us to be alone, and to know not only another person better, but know ourselves better.
          There are also times in which the spouses in marriage will experience solitude – even distance from each other.
          This solitude may be a great cross – at times – and for this reason – married couples need us, they need our prayers and support.

[__03___]   Solitude, however, reminds that we are call connected … and alike.
          Because no human person can completely fulfill or supply the demands of the another person in every possible way.
          But, this is not limited to marriage.  Mothers and fathers pray for their children – and grandparents for their grandchildren – also because they cannot satisfy every need in real time. 
          Moreover, neither can any human child fulfill every need of a parent.  Boys and girls – you too – are called to pray for your mothers and mothers and teachers and grandparents – to pray for the Sisters of Charity of Lourdes who love, to pray for the priests who say Mass and serve you here, to pray for the grown-ups who sometimes are not perfect in giving you what you need.
          In solitude – paradoxically – we are joined.

[__04_] Unfortunately, in our lives, we know that separation and divorce are not uncommon.
          And, those who have been divorced also need our prayers, they also need to know that they are loved by God, by neighbor, by the church.
          And, to recall that while you and I may judge such a separation or divorce by appearances, it is God who looks into the heart, who knows your heart, my heart.
          It is also my role as pastor – whenever possible – to help you with questions you may have about the Church’s teaching on marriage.

[__05_]  After the wedding at the church in Union County, we got into our cars / snowmobiles and made our way to the reception at the Short Hills Hilton.        
          Fewer guests, many empty seats or half-full tables. Nevertheless, it was a joyful reception for all those who could attend this late-December wedding.
          While at the Hilton, we learned that there was another wedding reception in another banquet hall. This was not unusual, because the Hilton is a big place.
          But, that other wedding reception was not supposed to be at the Hilton in Short Hills.  It had been scheduled – months earlier – for another smaller venue which I am sure is quite charming. But the venue was so petite and cute that they could not dig themselves out of the snow. And, so on the morning of their wedding, the bride and groom were contacted that they were not able to have a wedding reception at their scheduled location.
          The Hilton took them in on  a few hours’ notice.
          That was salvation…that was also mercy… [*** PAUSE ***]  

[__06__] Look, you and I may think we do not have the “salvation” or the “mercy” or the alternate sources of renewable-energy necessary to help a married couple who is in trouble.
          Maybe, the couple whom you know has had years of acrimony or fighting, financial difficulties, communication issues, perhaps infidelity as well.
          And, on top of all this, none of us is perfect. And, for this reason, we may fear to try and help or even listen to someone else’s crisis or to assist someone in such a trial or to encourage someone in the high ideal of marriage. It’s a challenge. It’s a tall order. It’s also the Gospel.
          Yes, none of us is perfect. But, all of us are striving for holiness, for salvation and for God’s mercy.
          Look – I do not live my own Christian discipleship and priesthood and ministry to the degree that God calls me to…or even to the degree that I may know I am capable.
          We all can lose our way.
          We all can feel we do not have all the answers.
          But, we just have to recall that Jesus is the Savior, not  you or me.
          But, when the couple- or the married friend of yours calls – and is in trouble, in a storm, without resources, we can listen, we can encourage or we can even pick up the phone, go and see them, not matter how bad the storm is or what the road conditions are.   [__fin__]    

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