Self Control or Remote Control (2018-09-23, Sunday-25)

23 September 2018     /  25^th Sunday Ordinary Time, Year B  

••    Wisdom 2:12, 17-20  •• Psalm    •• James  3:16 - 4:3 ••  •• + Mark 9:30-37

Title:   Self Control or Remote Control?

[__01__]    When Bill Belichick wins a Super Bowl with the New England Patriots, we often find that what is studied or on display is not only the victory but also his style and structure for the team that leads to success and championships.

          We might call it control or confidence, or self-control or self-confidence.

And, naturally, we associate this attitude with success, Super Bowls, championships.

[__02__]     The great UCLA basketball coach John Wooden was quoted as saying that  “failing to prepare is preparing to fail.”

          In other words, practice is just as important as the game itself and a team’s willingness to play hard and try their best is more important than ability or lucky breaks.

          Self-control, it is understood, develops with practice.

          We associate SELF-CONTROL with success, with greatness.

          But, do we associate SELF CONTROL with service to God and to neighbor? Or, is self control all about what the virtue can do for me?

[__03__]     In the Gospel this Sunday, the disciples were caught – on tape we might say by Jesus Himself – arguing about something that they might have preferred to keep out of the public record and away from the inquiring mind of their rabbi, Jesus, who has been teaching-coaching-guiding them.

          Jesus interrupts them on their walk, their journey and asks, “What was it you were talking about….”

          And, Jesus discovers that they had been arguing about who among them was the greatest.

          We might say that they lack SELF CONTROL.

[__04__]    Bill Belichick would not tolerate such talk and for Jesus – for whom the stakes are really much higher … it is life and death – he also does not condone their chatter about who is the greatest among them.

          Jesus was trying to teach them something – for real – about self control, about self-mastery and also about their real ability to give themselves.

          We read in the Acts of the Apostles the famous saying – it is better to give than to receive. And, the paradox here is that by “giving ourselves away” (see Thomas Merton quote…?) we are really growing in our ability to gain self-control.

… we are not losing by “giving away” but gaining by giving away.

          Now, of course we have seen the opposite of SELF CONTROL.

          Growing up in the 1970’s and 1980’s, I recall that I lacked much of the SELF CONTROL or patience that I would associate with truly gifted athletes.  And, I truly admired those athletes who possessed self control and I came to dislike those who did not. I cannot stand tennis player, John McEnroe. 

          But, I just say that it’s not enough to “want” SELF CONTROL or admire self control or expect SELF CONTROL …

          .. because the paradox – as Jesus teaches us and the disciples through his example – that we gain true self-control or the virtuous self control by surrendering our desire to control everything.

          For who among is the best at surrendering control and yet remaining “in control”.

          A child. A child does it best. Yes, of course, we may see a child having a bad day or a bad moment – but adults have these too.

          What Jesus is teaching us, by placing the child in our midst is that the child – who does not have all the vocabulary or knowledge or predictive analytical power of adults – can actually display “self control”.

          Are we not also reminded – when we observe children – that a child may be more in touch with his or her true feelings and emotions and only momentarily – not perpetually – ruled over by these emotions.

          A child’s self control is based on his or her continuous orientation toward what is next rather than what is past.  A child is not interested in how many birthdays he or she has had. There is only the next birthday that matters.

          For this reason, the role of you –as parents, grandparents, grown-ups – is so important to teach your children all of the virtues of faith, hope and love and also to teach the fruits of the Holy Spirit – which include “self control”. And, children learn this self control not by stuffing or ignoring their emotions or feelings but by acknowledging their feelings appropriately to and with others.

          In this regard, they learn self control.

          And, as Jesus reminds us – a child even can teach SELF CONTROL, can teach you and me true greatness.

[__fin__]