Deferred Status (2010-12-26, Holy Family)

This is my homily for 26 December 2010, Holy Family Sunday. I am the Catholic campus minister for Fairleigh Dickinson University (FDU) campus and for the FDU Newman Catholic Association. We resume our Sunday Mass (7:30 p.m.) on Sun. Jan. 23, 2011.

[__01 –___ ] “And whosoever will force thee one mile, go with him other two” (Matthew 5:41, Douay-Rheims) “Should anyone press you into service for one mile, go with him for two miles.” (Matthew 5:41, NAB)

These are the words of Jesus in the Sermon the Mount.
So also –

“Give to him that asketh of thee and from him that would borrow of thee turn not away.” (Matthew 5:42, Douay-Rheims)

“Give to the one who asks of you, and do not turn your back on one who wants to borrow.” (Matthew 5:42, NAB)

These are examples of generosity, steadfast love as taught by Christ. And, these are also examples of what Paul writes in the letter to the Colossians [and also in Ephesians, chapter 5] about “deferral.”

Deferring to the other person. Thinking about the other person’s welfare. Deferral is something that is valuable and valued.

[__02__ ] Isn’t this also true in a professional and financial sense?

• At year end, for charitable purposes, for our taxes. What can we do to postpone – defer – property or income taxes due this year to 2011, 2012, to retirement?

• In the military. This is also valuable. If someone defers military service, he or she is postponing entry, postponing being drafted into the U.S. Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines.

During election season to the Capitol, White House or Governor’s Mansion, candidates are questioned about their deferrals –

• Has this person avoided military service?
• Has this person paid (or avoided) federal taxes?

Of course, most deferrals are legitimate.

Nevertheless, the candidate is asked:

• You received advantages; What have you done with the time and money you received?
• Did these deferrals give you a jump start in life?
• Election Day becomes Judgment Day. Meet the Press.

[__03 __ ] Deferrals, then, come as gifts. Today is the Feast of the Holy Family. And, we reflect on the ways in which families are communities of love and support.
Husbands defer to their wives. Wives defer to their husbands. Children to defer to their parents. Paul writes, “Defer to one another out of love for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21)

To the Colossians, Paul writes of what we are to “put on”, i.e., what we are to wear externally as a sign of deferral and charity:

“Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection.” (Colossians 3:12-14)

Today is the Feast of the Holy Family. And, for all of us, today is a day to reflect on the ways in which we defer to each other. This does not simply mean tolerating – and holding our breath – as others get away with stuff. But, rather, respect.

And, for our young children here who live under the roof – and supervision - of mothers and fathers, this also means obedience.

Young people, boys and girls, during this school holiday, think about everything your parents do for you. Consider the time your parents spend deferring to you.

Now, we may think – under parental supervision – that we simply take orders and carry them out, do what Mom/Dad says. But, it’s also true that Mom/Dad are deferring to you, thinking always about what you need.

They think about your wishes – what you need – food, education, medicine, rest. If your mom/dad are telling you what time to go to bed, they are also urging you to rest.

Just as they take you on vacation in the summer, they are concerned about your rest (vacation) every night.

We are called to obey our parents. In the commandments, we hear “Honor your father and your mother.”

This means doing as we are told, especially when we are young.

And, this is not only because our parents are stronger, more powerful or have the car keys.

But, rather, they use their strength and power to protect us. They would die for us. Thus we obey them. In the same way, we listen and acknowledge Christ’s commands, knowing he has died for us.

This is a way for us to celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family every day.

Not all of us live under the direct supervision or rule of our parents, do we?
Many of us are grown up.

However, all of us are called to respect our mothers and fathers, both living and deceased.

[__04__ ] What does respect for one’s parents, as grown-ups – what does this mean?

It means –
• Anticipating the needs of my mother or father – grandfather or grandmother – before I am asked.

• Willingly asking advice. Isn’t it true that adult parents try – out of love – not to intrude upon the lives of their adult children? My parents do not give me advice today as they did when I was younger. Our parents want to share in our lives. But, they would prefer to be neither to be invited rather than to intrude. When we willingly ask advice, we are showing respect.

• Also, when we accept their corrections, their admonitions, we show respect.

[__05__ ] If you and I were running for office, paying our taxes, meeting the press, we would be judged for the deferrals – gifts - received.

We would be judged on the value/deferrals received.

What did we do with our advantages?

The same is true in our faith. We are called to consider – give thanks – for the
ways in which our parents loved us, considered us, and given us a head start.

This is the 4th commandment, which is based on another deferral clause, a clause about advantages:
“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God, has commanded you, that you may have a long life and prosperity in the land which the Lord, your God is giving you.” (Deuteronomy 5:16) [__end ___ ]