Sunday, February 23, 2020

Forgiveness: "This is about us" (2020-02-23, Sunday-07)


2027-02-23 – 7th Sunday in ordinary time
__ Leviticus 19:1-2, 17-18 __ Psalm 103 __  1 Corinthians 3:16-23 _ +Matthew 5:38-48 _


[_01_]       I’d like to reflect on the idea of GIVING …and then, FORGIVING.
  1. GIVING
  2. FORGIVING
[_02_]       This Sunday, I am just reminding you about the archdiocesan appeal called “Shining the Light of Christ”. There is a message in the bulletin about this.
            This annual appeal is not just about “them”, it is also about “us”. Sometimes, we see the Archdiocese of Newark as an “administration” and “them” .. and “out there.” But it is about “us”.  Why?
Because the appeal enables us as a Catholic community to do things that we cannot do on our own.
            The appeal, for example, pays for and paid for the seminary education that I was blessed to experience and this led to my assignment here, my arrival here as a priest in 2006 and to serve you and serve with you since then.
            So, you got me – as a priest - as part of the appeal. Think of your donation in that regard.
            The appeal also supports current seminary education at Immaculate Conception Seminary / Seton Hall that Father Bob Suszko is engaged in right now as vice-rector.
            And, the appeal supports campus ministry work – to ensure a Catholic presence and Catholic Newman Center at Montclair State University and other colleges in northeast NJ, the campus ministry work being done by Father Jim Chern at Montclair State University.
            So …the appeal is not just about “them” …it is also about “us.”
[_03_]       Your family needs come first. I am impressed by what you do to care for your children, for their safety, education, nourishment, insurance, health care, upbringing, for their needs in every way.
            Your priorities also include family members who have special medical needs. These must come first.  
But, if you are able, you can share this mission of the Corporal Works of Mercy by donating the appeal.
I am not asking you to give at a specific level or specific dollar amount, but that your participation matters in the appeal. You matter. I need you. I cannot do this without you.
Your participation matters. And I thank you for your prayerful consideration and all you do for our church and parish and the charities and ministries of the Archdiocese.
[_04_]       I’d like to speak about FORGIVING. To forgive.
            We hear a famous phrase in the Gospel today: “turn the other cheek”.
            What does that mean: to turn the other cheek_ ?
            I’d like to define what it does not mean.  It does not mean that we are to endure endless malice being done to us by people who are evildoers.
            It does not mean putting ourselves in harm’s way intentionally or not defending ourselves against someone doing wrong to us.
            Jesus has another command in the Gospel that is related to “turn the other cheek” à he says “shake the dust from your feet.” … “shake the dust from your feet.”
            This is about if someone rejects you ..then just “shake the dust from your feet”, let it go.
            I suggest that “turn the other cheek” is about FORGIVENESS.
            Are we willing and able -  am I willing and able to FORGIVE others?
            Are we able to forgive when someone trespasses against us?
[_05_]           I’d like to give an example. This is not about a really malicious wrongdoing as you will see. Not a malicious or wicked action, just maybe a more everyday example of what happens in a family – in this case between a father and a child.
            I am the child in this case.
            I would be embarrassed to call it a malicious wrongdoing, but I experienced it as a “trespass against me”.
            You may say at the end of this ---- get over yourself, James Ferry…
[_06_]       The example is this. After I finished my academic studies…. College and university studies, then traveled for a while after college, all of which I financed myself and then went to graduate school with my own money.
            This all took about 5 years post-college. So, in 1993, I am finally out there looking for what is technically called a “real job.”
            What you would say was a real job. I was living at my parent’ house, thinking about about my working “future” and my student “past history.”  I had to get a job to get out of the past and into the present (and future) reality of working.
            But, I was not too worried …a little ..not too much. My dollar-value student debt was manageable…and I had this great plan, not a lot of debt, look for the right job on my own time.
            Plus, I even had a job, but it was really not a long-term thing, no health benefits or anything.
            So, I was looking for a job.
            So, every day, for many days in a row, I would encounter my father at the dinner table and he would say to me: “Did you get a job yet..?” and the next day:  “Did you get a job yet..?”
            And, so on.
            I was tired of that question. I hated that question. My father was doing his job. But, as we say … I still wanted to do “me” … to be “me”. But I was annoyed, and experienced this a “trespass.”  (Spoiler alert: yes…I got a job and did so on my timeline, but realized that my forgiveness should not be based on my employment status…nor should it based on whether or not I viewed myself as in the “right”).
            “Turn the other cheek”.
            I just ask – when we are called to forgive someone, is the “forgiveness” only about “them” or is the forgiveness not about “me” and “us.”
            Is the forgiveness about the other person is it about me?
            Very easily we can turn “forgiveness” or the withholding of forgiveness into a weapon, we use against someone.
            We say: “I will never forgive you.”  …or… “I will forgive, but I will never forget what you did.”
            That’s a weapon. And when we withhold – hold back – forgiveness – it’s not about what you can do to even the score with someone else, it’s really about you are doing – negatively – to yourself.
            Forgiveness is not about them, it is about you and me.
            Forgiveness is healing.
            Forgiveness is not approval, it is not excusing the other person.
            Forgiveness is healing for us so that we can move on.
            Forgiveness helps us to receive God’s love into our lives, so that we can know that we are loved and we can love God and neighbor each day. [_fin_]

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