Rich Man / Lazarus. Fine Clothes. Finances. Food. (2022-09-25, Sunday-26)

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2022-09-25 –26^th Sunday   Title:   Rich Man / Fine Clothes. Fortune. Food  ● ●  Amos 6:1a, 4-7  ● Psalm 146 ●   1 Timothy 6:11-16  ●●   Luke  16:19-31 ● ●

[__01__]   Are you focused on the present moment or on the future?

          Jesus our Lord uses a parable – the rich man and Lazarus to focus us on the future, our future salvation, eternal life.

          Here is an everyday example of getting something good, truly good, by focusing on the future. This example was written by a father in a book called “Thank you for Arguing”

 

[__01__]   This is the story of a father and his 17-year old son.

          The father also teaches about “public speaking / rhetoric.” His son uses some of the father’s technique.

          The father related went into the family’s one and only bathroom, on a Saturday morning, and did so strategically timed because his 17-year-old son was eating breakfast and the bathroom was available. Upon entering, he noticed they were out of toothpaste and called out loudly, “Who used up all the Colgate, the toothpaste?”

          The 17-year old son came to the door and very intelligently said, “Dad, the important thing is not who used up all the toothpaste, but how  can we prevent this from happening next time ?”

          The father conceded and obtained the desired toothpaste. There was another tube of Colgate in the house and the son retrieved it. The son won the argument, but it was really a win win.   (Book: Thank you for Arguing, by Jay Heinrichs)

 

[__03__]   Why did the son win the argument? Because he focused the future (not the present only).

          The teacher/father is Jay Heinrichs. His book is called “Thank you for Arguing…”

          His point is that the best arguments are not about the past or even the present, but about the future.

 

[__04__]    Telling this parable to the fashion-conscious Pharisees, Jesus did directly shame them, but was asking them and you and me to be future-focused.

          The Rich Man of the parable had 3 things which were all good in and of themselves.

 

[__05.01__]     [1^st - FINE CLOTHES / what was he dressed up in ?]  I’m sure you do not actually “worship” your wardrobe of clothes, but nevertheless the way we dress and present ourselves – whether we dress formally or informally – is a statement of who we are and who we hope to be.

          In the Bible, fine clothes can be a good thing and really signify a positive connection to God. Adam and Eve – for example – receive the gift of clothing from God after their fall from grace. Their clothing became an ever-present reminder of God’s love.

          In the Prodigal Son parable (2 weeks ago), the younger/prodigal son is bankrupt and in tattered rags for garments, and he is embraced by his father with the “finest robe”.

          We are all judged by our clothes. Sometimes, this is presented too legalistically in terms of inches and measurements, but the question – for every girl and boy – woman and man – and the rich man of the parable – is what message is being sent by the clothes I wear? What do my clothes say about what I am and what I hope to be ?

          Because, regardless of what we ear ..when we come back to God, God wants to wrap us, clothe us in his grace and love, for the future…

 

[__05.02__]      [2^nd – FORTUNE / FINANCES / what was he depending on?]

          The rich man is depending on his finances, on his money.

          By the way, just a reminder which many of you know the warning of Saint Paul is not “money is the root of all evil.”

          But, rather, the “the love of money is the root of all evil.”

          Are you concerned with winning money, gaining money?  You may want to take out your phone now and check the stock market.

          Of course, every one of us would rather win than lose, or gain rather than lose money, see our assets go up rather than down.

          The question is –what are we depending on? The rich depends on his money to save him. He can’t take it with him.

          These days, there are many opportunities to enjoy money and apparently enjoyable ways to make money or win money.

          Due to new / permissive laws about online gambling, there are more ways to bet. And, isn’t it true that every time you watch the Yankees or Mets play baseball, or football, or professional golf   that you are seeing commercial for these services. The message is that your enjoyment of the game will be enhanced by betting on the game.

          Evidently, these online gambling companies are very familiar with human psychology and original sin.

          The love of money is the root of all evil.  Of course, winning money is good, but it’s also possible to have too much of a good thing.  It’s also possible to be too dependent on a good thing.

          The rich man has a love of money – or to use the ancient Aramaic word – he has a love for “mammon”. 

[__05.03__]    [3^rd – FOOD  / what was his desire?]    We read that the man dines sumptuously each day.

          And, that he has too much of a good thing. What’s the deal here? Is his A1-C too high?  Does have too little “good cholesterol”  and too much “bad cholesterol”?

          What is the meaning of food in the Bible ?

          Food – and eating – is critical to communication of the Biblical message of the covenant and love.

          Jesus says and the priest repeats his word as a model…take this all of you and eat and …do this in remembrance of me.        The Eucharist is our food.

          But, what are we nourished on?

          One thing we all “crave” and “desire” and may feel hungry for is to be esteemed and valued by others. We all need affirmation.         

          Is it not safe to say that this rich man of the parable would have enjoyed the esteem – the positive evaluation – many in his community? Jesus is directing this parable at many of the high and mighty Pharisees but we can also behave in the same way. For no one wishes to be “diskliked” or “devalued” by others.

          We can get too much of a good thing if being popular is really our goal, and what we are craving…

[POPULARITY]    We are also called to withdraw from situations and scenes and relationships that we engage in only to make ourselves more popular, or more well liked. I'm guilty of this, of participating in or investing in friendships and conversations with those who make me feel good those who make me feel popular, or avoiding people who challenge me. I'm investing in dishonest wealth. As the saying goes, put your money where your mouth is, put your money where God is, don't put your money where Mammon is, you cannot serve both God and mammon.   

Repent and believe in the Gospel.  [__END__] 

Queen. Queue. (2022-09-18, Sunday - 25)

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2022-09-18 –25^th Sunday  &      Title:   The Queen. The Queue.

● Amos 8:4-7 ● Psalm 113   ● ● 1 Timothy 2:1-8   ●● Luke 16:1-13   ● ●

[__01__]      "In his essay on the English people, George Orwell remarked that any foreign observer would be struck by their orderly behavior and in particular “the willingness to form queues.” It’s one of those British stereotypes that’s come to mind in recent days, as the mother of all queues lengthens and snakes along the south bank of the Thames River."  

"As many as 750,000 people were expected to travel to London ahead of the state funeral for the late Queen Elizabeth II on Monday. Queues began forming days earlier on the opposite side of the Thames from the historic Westminster Hall, where her coffin lies elevated on a catafalque. By Thursday late afternoon, the line was nearly 4.3 miles (7 kilometers) long.  As of Saturday afternoon, the wait time was at least 13 hours. We know all this because there’s an official live queue tracker, which reports the length and the average time to destination at a speed of roughly 0.5 miles per hour. "  (Bloomberg News)

          Don’t these people know that you can see the Queen lying-in-state even better from your television, with a remote control, on the couch, rather than standing in line all the way from south London to Westminster?

          Even if you wear the most comfortable shoes imaginable, your feet would hurt after several hours of standing and waiting – being on the queue.

 [__02__]        The Gospel parable this Sunday is about the “dishonest steward” or “dishonest manager” who gets caught for financially cheating and mismanaging the company $$ money and his boss’s accounts.

          He is now “waiting” to be penalized, waiting to be punished, for the consequences of his actin. Should he, perhaps, use the remote starter to warm up his car and speed out of town to escape with the cash?

          One reason for this is that there really is no “escape” for him.

 [__03_]       This dishonest manager’s “career” is a metaphor or symbol of his lifespan which is also fragile and finite. Being called in by the boss – God – is what happens when we die. We go to confess ours sins now so that we can go to God with a clean heart.

And, his offense – his sin – which is now  public knowledge is also on his “record”.  He wants to keep it off his record, not just to save his job, but to save his life!

[__04__]    What we read in the parable is that the man is doing penance or making restitution for his sins for he – the dishonest manager – was similar to the tax collectors of Jesus’ day who collected money more in the way of gangsters than government agents. The tax collectors extracted money for their own gain / profit.

          So, when we read in the parable that the dishonest manager is giving back or reducing the debts of certain customers, he is really reducing his own “sales commission / service charge”, decreasing his own profit which he gained dishonestly.   By his confession and penance, he is changing his ways from evil to good.

[__05__]       [LONDON] The reason  thousands of people are queueing up to see QE-II lying in state is to “pay their respects”. It is newsworthy when a crowd forms to pay respects in large numbers, but this is bigger than before.

          People also came out to honor Britain’s wartime leader Winston Churchill, but the wait was only 3 hours and a mile long. Some 250,000 Americans waited 10 hours for John F. Kennedy’s lying-in-state. About 100,000 mourners paid homage South African President, Nelson Mandela. And, in 2001 in the U.S., there were many waiting in line and packing churches for funerals after 9/11.

          Regarding this one reporters say that in London, this is the “mother of all queues”. (queen of all queues?)

[__06__]        To join the 5-mile / 10-hour wait, is do something that we are trying to do – continually – in our own Catholic practices of – FASTING, of PRAYER, of ALMSGIVING.

          The dishonest manager of the parable is also called to this as part of his conversion.

 [__07__]        [FASTING] What is fasting? Fasting is a form of being still and waiting on God. When you are on line for a really long time, or waiting for news – medical, financial, personal =-

          I’d like to equate FASTING with stillness, of sitting still, similar when you are on line – in the queue – for a medical test result, for a school exam, for news of any kind. You are called – I am called – to “sit still”. To go without some food or drink or entertainment for some defined period is to surrender to God.

          Also, this fasting enables us to put ourselves more explicitly in God’s hands, rather than simply going our own way.  The dishonest manager is giving back – fasting from – his own profits. Profit making is good, but he has turned profit making into “god” or an idol.

 [__08__]        [PRAYING] What is prayer? Prayer is strength. The people in London symbolize that there is strength in numbers. We come to church to pray also because we believe there is strength in every individual one of our prayers.

          On the news, perhaps, you noticed that major celebrities of sports and movies – have joined the queue.   David Beckham, retired football/soccer goal scorer queued up, but it would be a mistake to say that David Beckham’s presence mattered more than the person before or after him.  Everyone counts. You matter. Prayer = strength in numbers.

[__09__]      [ALMSGIVING]

What is almsgiving. Almsgiving could be money but it is also service.

          To stand on line, on the queue, in mourning for the death of a loved one, or even of someone whom you do not know very well is an act of love of service.

          In some way, the people of London are witnesses to this love.  And, doesn’t it require patience and some “love of neighbor” in order to stand in line, to wait with others to wait our turn.

          Standing in line, we are also waiting for God’s mercy when we go to see the priest in the confessional … and when we respond with some penance which could also be some prayer or fasting or almsgiving.

          What is the benefit of this “waiting on God” –

          Jesuit Father John Hardon, S.J. wrote:

          (Source: The Spiritual and Psychological Value of Frequent Confession, 1998, John Hardon)

          paraphrased

           “Peace of heart is doing the will of God. This is heaven.”

Example – doing God’s will / prayer (# 1)  Lord’s Prayer  – We pray that God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven…

To do only what I want or get only what I want ..this is a form of hell“.

Example – doing God’s will / prayer (# 2)  Our Blessed Mother – Queen of Heaven and Earth – demonstrated this by saying to the angel, “let it be done to me according to thy word” (Luke: 1:38)

          This is why God instituted the sacrament of confession, even it means waiting.

          The more frequently we confess our sins, no matter how minor, the more peaceful we shall be. Why?

          Because if there is one thing God wants you and me to admit it is that we are sinners who trust in his loving mercy.

          Sinners who are also in the queue, for as long as it takes.    [END]

Squander. Wander. Ponder (2022-09-11, Sunday-24)

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 2022-09-11 –24^th Sunday  &    

Title:   Squander. Wander.Ponder (9/11)

● ● Exodus 32:7-11, 13-14 ● ● Psalm 51   ●●   1 Timothy 1:12-17 ●●  + Luke 15:1-32 ● ●

[__00__]    This is the Gospel of the Prodigal Son which I’d like to touch on in terms of the one who …

• Squanders (or is extravagant or wasteful with the family fortune)
• Wanders (the son who drifts away …then drifts back; even when he comes home, he is not that expecting all that much …it’s not until he’s there that the relationship is restored and…then)
• Ponders (both sons are called to ponder God’s mercy and love)

 

[__01__]     Here is an example of “squandering and wandering”

I can recall vividly certain details from the day of my sister’s birthday party years ago,  a celebration at home in the mid-1990’s when she turned 16. Sweet 16.  It was a Sunday, a crowded party, many family and friends. I was introduced for the 1^st time to my brother’s girlfriend whom he married the following year. I met my future sister-in-law in the living room by the couch.

            What causes me to recall specific details was not the party itself but an unexpected phone call that evening. My parents rang to tell me a dear friend of our family had died suddenly, out of the blue.  And, he was the godfather of my sister.

            Hearing the news, I was shaken up and sad, but I recall that I resisted much mourning or sorrow or grief over this. While I attended his wake and funeral mass in church, I participated at a minimum.  I squandered the opportunity to be with my family and friends that day ..though I was also in sorrow and mourning.

            I wandered. I left church immediately after the funeral-mass, going NEITHER to cemetery/burial NOR to repast/lunch afterwards where so many of many family and friends were going.

            I went from “mass” to “mass transit”.  In my resistance to reality of mortality, I headed out to the station to catch a train to Hoboken and then PATH to NYC, to return to work, to resume my regular routine ASAP, to go back what I knew, to stay where I had been.

While I felt out of place when I arrived back to work I was “somewhere else” emotionally, at the time, I did not really know what else to do. I was wandering !

 

[__02__]    Perhaps, I would have benefited from the STRUCTURE of the the U.K. / England government – the 10 day plan – for what do after the death of Queen Elizabeth II. The plan has been in place for years and now everyone has to follow it.  By the way, Queen of England died, in case you didn’t know.

 

[__03__]      Do you want to stay where you are, or to move? If you insist on staying where you are, then you may be similar to me and my attachment to riding the train back to work ASAP.

            The elder son of the parable of the Prodigal Son also wanted to stay where he was. He also wanted his father to be stationary, to be sedentary, to stay where he was and not run out to meet his brother – the Prodigal Son -- by whom they were clearly all “betrayed” personally, financially, historically. The younger son had squandered and wandered.

            The Prodigal Son is the sinner and outcast par excellence.  But the Prodigal Son has mobility. That’s good news.

            It may be surprising, since the Prodigal Son had squandered a great deal of money– “lead in the standings”, more of a lead than the baseball New York Yankees had in July  (there is still hope for the Yankees) …  and so the Prodigal Son was now actually in “last place” in the “minor  leagues” far from home, without decent meals. The Prodigal Son could would have been eating the scraps that fell on the floor of Yankee Stadium !

 

[__04__]       Yes, we all fall into “squandering” and “wandering”, but we are also called to ponder God’s goodness …to ponder the commandments not just to   avoid punishment but because it is good, it is nourishing, it is peaceful when we come out of the darkness. I.e., don’t stay where you are. Here is an example of “wandering and pondering”.

EXAMPLE ---            A few years ago, I went to visit my parents at their home and I arrived and was feeling kind of restless so I stayed up to watch TV until around 1:30 am. At 12:30 am – shortly after midnight --  there was some major news or political story. Because I had squandered a good night’s sleep, I heard the news overnight.

            At around 8 in the morning, my father asked me the next morning – did you hear about what happened in D.C. last night and I pretended not to know… this was a lie, in order to conceal how late I had been up …. Because I was tired, etc.

            Then, feeling guilty about the lie… I wandered back and … oh yeah, I did hear about that last night. To which he then said… how late were you up?

            I said… around 11.

            Then, he countered..but that news was reported after midnight !

            In other words, I could no longer stay where I had been.  The 24-hour news feed and social media caught me in my wandering.

            My father and I laughed about it…but I just use it as an example that “frequent confession” of our faults is beneficial  and how easy it is fall into dishonesty and sometimes how hard it is to come out of it !

            Jesuit Father John Hardon wrote:  “The principal source of conflict in the human spirit is the sense of guilt. Psychologists tell  us it is the mysterious feeling of guilt which lies at the root of most people’s disquiet of mind and disturbance of will. On both levels [the mental or rational level of our mind] and the [behavorial or decision making part], the Sacrament of Penance is a great gift.  (Source: John A. Hardon, S.J., The Spiritual and Psychological Value of Frequent Confession, 1998)

            Admitting we are wrong helps us to make decisions, not to stay where we are.

            It is also something to ponder. Recall that our blessed mother – Mary – when she is visited by the shepherds in Bethlehem after the birth of Jesus – did not really understand everything, but kept these things and “pondered them in her heart” (Luke ch. 2:19)

 

[__05__]    9/11 EXAMPLE OF PONDERING      In the years leading up to 9/11/2001, a worker at a NY-based company -- called Morgan Stanley was constantly “pondering” the need for safety and a safe exit from the World Trade Center tower. As a result of other terrorist attacks – especially the 1993 bombing of WTC – he felt that they should not SQUANDER the chance to be ready he next time.

Richard (“Rick”) Rescorla  was his name. And, he did not SQUANDER.  He was in charge of security and fire drills in the at the World Trade Center, for nearly 4,000 co-workers and was adamant that they should practice – frequently / regularly – moving in and out of the building.

            Throughout the 1990‘s  Richard was frequently criticized by his 4,000 co-workers and superiors because these fire drills interrupted the business day. Yet, they needed practice, according to Richard.

[][][]

At 8:46 A.M. on the morning of September 11, 2001, AA # 11 struck the North Tower of WTC.  Richard heard the explosion and saw the tower burning from his office window in the 44th floor of the South T (WTC 2). When a Port Authority announcement came over the P.A. system urging people to ___ stay at their desks ___, and before UA # 175 would strike the South T at 9:03 A.M., Richard ignored the announcement, grabbed his bullhorn, walkie-talkie and cell phone, and began systematically to order roughly all employees of his company in the South Tower and in WTC 5  to evacuate (___i.e., do not stay where you are… escape ___).   While watching the news coverage, Richard called a friend and said, "[They] told me not to evacuate," and, "They said it's just [WTC 1]   I told them I'm getting my people [   ]  out of here." He directed people down a stairwell starting at the 44th floor, keeping people away from elevators while telling them to remain calm.

He used everything in his life, military combat trining, his years of practice …nothing was wasted or squandered.

They even sang battlefield military songs in the stairwell.

Between songs, Richard called his wife (Susan), telling her, "Stop crying. I have to get these people out safely. If something should happen to me, I want you to know I've never been happier. You made my life," and Susan replied, "You made my life, too" before the phone went dead

After successfully evacuating nearly all of his 4,000 co-workers, Richard went back into the building.  When one of his colleagues told him he too had to evacuate the WTC, Richard replied, "As soon as I make sure everyone else is out."  He was last seen on the 10th floor of the South Tower, heading upstairs, shortly before its collapse 9:59 A.M.,

Within Richard’s company of 4,000 employees, 13 employees died on 9/11, including Richard himself, the members of his team including a security guard, who had stayed behind to help others.

They died along with 343 firefighters of the FDNY and 73 police officers and responders of Port Authority, NYPD, State Police, FBI and EMS died. All of these first responders went into harm’s way willingly They did not stay where they were.

It was the worst terrorist attack in world history. Nearly 3,000 people died. We are called to pray for the dead. Surely there were some prodigal sons and daughters among them who did not know they would died that day.

Christ also died for them. They need our prayers even today for their eternal salvation. We all need God’s grace for we are not called just to stay where we are but to come home to Him each day. Do not squander. Do not wander. Ponder ! Keep all of these things in your heart.  [__end_]   

Polar Express (2022-09-04 - Sunday -23rd)

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2022-09-04 –23^rd  Sunday  &     Title:  Communicate. Elevate. Calculate

● ● Wisdom 9:13-18b  ● ● Psalm 90   ●●   Philemon 9-10, 12-17 ●●  + Luke 14:25-33 ● ●

 [__01__]     What does “peak performance” mean?  It means to perform (carry out) a task at the optimum level of your physical ability, talent, and mental capability.

          There are “peak performance” moments in the real-life 2018 expedition of a man named Colin O’Brady to the South Pole, an expedition/trip he trained hard for – physically and mentally, a trip made the all the more difficulty because he was determined to go “solo” without companions and go without an additional supplies – he only had the food and supplies on his sled that he pulled behind him for 900_+ miles.

          There were good peak performance moments. There were also times when he was not at his peak or, as we might say, “hating it”, “hating the severe cold”, loneliness, heaviness of his sled, wondering if he will get to the finish line of his South Pole expedition.

[__02__]    The Gospel is also about the Jesus’ push to the finish line or final destination of Jerusalem.

          It is the Good News that Jesus’ peak performance is when he seems – apparently – to be at his worst, suffering and dying.

          That’s a challenge to our definition of “peak performance” and also a challenge is to hear JC’s use of the provocative verb “to hate”. I thought “hate” was a crime !

          In this context, “to hate” means to choose what is good and to put God first, to put our priorities in order.

          In fact, we are called to love our mother, father, sister, brother and our own lives. God desires your and my peak performance.

          Jesus is also telling us about being his disciples in terms of what we are called to : __ communicate __elevate;  __ __ calculate,

          I’d like to conclude with an example of the “expedition” of Christian marriage – between wife and husband – and “peak performance”

[__03__]    [1^st COMMUNICATE]

          How to  communicate for peak performance?

          Years ago, when I was a college student and not nearly at my “peak” or at my best in one particular semester, I told my parents – seeking their sympathy and mercy – that I was falling behind  seriously in a difficult class (for me) and that I thought I would fail and have to re-take the class again.

          By telling them, I thought I would receive pity.   There was mercy but not what I expected.

They immediately told me, “if you have to re-take this class, you are paying for it. We paid for your college, but we are not paying for summer school.” In other words, there was a real “money withdrawal limit” at the 1^st National Bank of Mom/Dad.

          They were also communicating to me that there was a standard of goodness and righteousness that was not based on their opinion or my opinion.  I did not come to dislike – much less “hate” – my parents for this.  Actually, their difficult communication became a direct motivation and I was able to turn things around and get a decent grade.

          They put a good communication ahead of an easy communication. Easy is not always good. That’s communication, peak performance.

[__04__]    [2^nd ELEVATE]   How to  elevate for peak performance?

Jesus urges you to carry – to elevate - your cross and me to elevate / carry my cross.

          We are at a time in our world where pain and suffering are not the “exception” but rather the “rule” for many people.

          At the same time, while every Christian is called to live out the works of mercy of “Matthew 25”  - I was hungry and gave me to eat; I was sick and you visited me, this does not mean that we can actually make choices for others. Jesus urges us to realize that the only person I can really change is me – the only person you can change is you.

          An example that can help us understand the concept of healthy boundaries is that of the Good Samaritan - the man who “elevates / lifts” the man left beaten up on the side of the road.

Although the Good Samaritan “med-evacs“ / “elevates” him to an “inn” – place to stay – the Good Samaritan does not stay overnight…and only comes back later to check on him…. at some point even the Good Samaritan had to let the person go… the rest of the way, to reach his own peak performance.

 [__05__]     [3^rd CALCULATE]   How to calculate for peak performance?

Jesus gives 2 examples of planning and calculation, building a tower and going into battle.

Jesus’  calculation example is not given to  you– just in case – you are building a tower or going into military service.

          Every commitment in love and friendship is a calculated effort. And, sometimes it is not a simple calculation.

That does not mean we should avoid it!

 

[__06__]      CALCULATION AND PLANNING,

          Our explorer in the South Pole – Colin – was often “calculating” and calibrating how much food to eat, how many miles to go, every calorie and kilometer.

          He was also in daily contact with his wife – Jennifer – who was his partner in the effort.

 [_07_]      Marriage, getting married, involves many calculations, and staying married also involves calculations. Sometimes, they are not easy equations to solve.

          One of the things we have all observed – I have observed – is that many couples who are dating or engaged have decided – before they are married on a “calculation” of “cohabitation”, i.e., of living together.

          This is one definition of “peak performance”

 [_08_]      Yet, these couples are also living in a state of sin.  I encourage them to abstinence. I urge them to go to examine their consciences and make confession before they make their vows.

          Of course, we are all sinners. I myself am no less of a sinner. Nevertheless, this state of mortal sin affects not only their present but their future expectations of married life, their peak performance.

          Yes, there are financial concerns. Living together saves money. I get it.

But, marriage also about saving yourself, and  your future spouse – body and soul. It is a grave danger especially when combined with the use of contraceptives, also against the 6^th commandment.

          So, these are the negative reasons.

          You might say, Hey Padre.. I thought you started this homily taking about “peak performance” / “optimal conditions.”

         

Do  you have anything positive to, say? As they say on a wedding day,  I do.

 [_09_]      [PEAK PERFORMANCE] But, what I am also telling them is that their time apart – of not living together – before marriage – is as important of their coming to know each other as is their time together. We need time apart from our intimate family and friends in order to know them and to know ourselves.

          Also, by not living together, the couple allows their marital intimacy to be supported by a greater emotional and mental connection to each other.

          Also, I wish for couples to know – and for you to know, your children to know, your grandchildren to know – that many couples who do not live together before marriage report greater satisfaction after marriage.

          Also, not living together and abstinence before marriage is excellent preparation for the HEROIC sacrifices and patience required later in marriage. Can you get to this level of “peak performance” and heroism and still live together?  Yes, it is possible, but more difficult.

          The Church is not trying to make your marriage more difficult, but rather an easier calculation

[__10__]      Out on the Antarctic / South Pole ice and snow, Colin our explorer had to check in every night when he made camp and set up his tent.

          The check-in’s with his wife, Jennifer, in Oregon were crucial to his journey. Sometimes, she told him things that he did not want to hear or did not believe were true or possible.

          One time, they were taking inventory – counting – the remaining bags of food and due to all their organization and reorganization during the trip. Colin – on the snow – thought he should have exactly 10 (ten) bags of food but he counted and had 11.

This was distressing to him because he feared the cold and exhaustion were severely affecting his memory. He expected 10, he had 11 and thought he was going crazy.

But, after talking to his wife, he realized that really had 11. They were in synch with their numbers.  While Jennifer – his wife – had never climbed such high mountains or run a triathlon or been to South Pole, her support and calculation, she was able to get through to him as no one else could.

Our Catholic teaching on marriage and the reason couples are called to “wait” is so that they can really be together, really be in synch, for the long term, in every type of weather and climate, and over great distances.      [__END__]