Sunday, August 11, 2019

Waiting. Anger. El Paso, Dayton, Gilroy. (2019-08-11, Sunday-19)


HML  • 2019 August 11 •  19th Sunday

• Wisdom 18:6-9  • Psalm 33 • Hebrews 11:1-2, 8-19 • +Luke 12:32-48 •           

Title: Waiting. Anger. El Paso, Dayton, Gilroy.
[_01_]   Jesus is waiting tables in this Gospel. He is waiting -- on the servants.
          The best summer job – the most superior summer job – I ever had was waiting tables because it involved several friends of mine, we all worked at the same place, our boss was someone we knew. And, we still tell stories about that summer, as though we graduated from some training program together. Nevertheless, we still tell stories about that summer.
          So, when I was about 19 years old, I took this job as a banquet waiter at a Marriott hotel and thought I had other summer jobs before, this experience was different because every banquet – every dinner – was big project, a big undertaking with 100 or more people, 300, 500 guests where something always went wrong. And, there was a need to be cool and calm under pressure.
          I’m not sure that the experience has made me cool and calm under pressure but at least it was a lesson to me – as a young person – about the value of patience, the value of taking your time.
          At one event, at this Marriott banquet dinner, we had to uncork 50 or more wine bottles – in like 30 seconds (so it seemed).  Because we were hasty and rushing and not taking our time, at least 10 bottles were totally ruined. You know, the cork is supposed to come out of the bottle, not go into the bottle.
[_02_]    Many of my co-workers were friends and former teammates of a youth / CYO basketball team on which we played.
          And, our boss – the head of banquets and maitre’d – was our former coach. His name was Dave.
          And, in some ways, every banquet was like a basketball game in which the maitre’d was still calling the plays.  The objective was the same:  world domination !  I’m kidding …
          But, the problems of the hotel kitchen or banquet back room or dining room were a microcosm of what happens in real life, or in sports.
That is, people disagree, people forget stuff, people get impatient, get displeased or even angry.
And, I’m not talking about the guests and clientele sitting at their tables. They -- were -- nice !
I spilled heavy cream (or Caesar salad dressing?) on a well-dressed gentleman in a blue suit at a wedding and he was much more understanding than I would have expected.
          No, the problem – often what you had to anticipate – watch out for – were the other waiters or hotel staff who might get angry or upset at each other.
          We had to work together, so our relationships were important for us to be effective, not all of Dave, maitre’d, and basketball coach whom I knew to be excitable and particular. Some people called him the “general”…. Like an “army general.”
[_03_]   I thought Dave really cared about us…and this reflection will end with an important encounter I had with him, an important life lesson.
[_04_]   When something has gone wrong, terribly wrong we naturally ask – who did this? Who is responsible? How did this happen and, by the way, is the person who did this on “my side” or on “the other side”?
          This is true when we read about the tragic events in Gilroy (California), El Paso (Texas), and Dayton (Ohio).
          And, while we justifiably and fittingly honor the police and law enforcement who protect us, the civilians who jumped into action, the off-duty law-enforcement who jumped into action, we also ask – often we ask:
What more could be done, legally, politically, to avert such a disaster?
I don’t have answers to those questions. We don’t have the answers to those questions right now.
[_05_]   But, I only suggest that – all of us recognize - there are moments so heated, so contentious, so anxiety-producing that we could lose our cool or our confidence.  All of us are called to patience in times of difficulty.
          On the other hand, are there not times when you (or I) have demonstrated patience or cool (under pressure)  or restraint when we could have let our anger rule us or conquer us, because we recognize that anger/wrath is one of the deadly sins, not only for the target of our anger, but for the person who is angry.
          Anger can consume us. Anger could destroy the person who is angry.
          And, we recognize this also in our respect for life, the sanctity of life that we do not want to take the law into our own hands.
[_06_]   Pope Benedict XVI (Letter April 10, 2019, paraphrased) wrote:  “There are some goods that we can never trade, trade in, buy or sell.  For example -- [meaning you cannot trade one for a newer better one… you cannot trade in your family or life… though you may compare your family or life to another]”
          These are values which must never be abandoned for a greater value and even surpass the preservation of physical life.  For example, There is martyrdom.
          Martrydom is greater than physical life.  So, why would an ordinary  customer and man in an El Paso Wal-Mart surrender his life willingly for people he did not know? Because love of life and love of God are about more than physical survival.       
          A life that is bought by the denial of God, a life that is based on a final lie is not really a non-life.  (Pope Benedict XVI, Letter April 10, 2019, paraphrased)
[_07_]      Our lives both in a spiritual and even a U.S.-Declaration of Independence sense are based on more than personal-self-preservation.
          Love your enemy, pray for those who persecute you. Yes, that might hurt. 
          The belief that all men, women and children are created equal and have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, that also could involve sacrifice, the cross, even in the face of anger.
[_08_]     In the recent tragedy in El Paso, the perpetrator and author of the “manifesto” was so misguided that he lived this kind of non-life. May God have mercy on his immortal soul.
          To take another person’s life by our own volition, our own act of  ourselves as judge and jury is a denial of God. We believe differently.  (Pope Benedict XVI, Letter April 10, 2019, paraphrased)
 [_09_]       One night, we had this banquet in the Marriott hotel dining room, with 200+ guests. And, Dave our maitre’d and and play-caller for the evening got us together beforehand to explain things told us:
“OK …people … Tonight is different because normally you come out with the dinner plates, you provide silverware if it is misplaced, you fill up water glasses and you hang around the table where the people are eating.  But, tonight is different.
Tonight is different. Do not hang around the table where people are eating.  That’s what he’s telling us, don’t hang around, because we have a stage set up for a singer who is going to wear an 1980’s tuxedo and sing Frank Sinatra Summer Wind, Fly Me to the Moon, … [well he did not say that the guy would wear an ‘80’s tuxedo… it was the ‘80s so that was the deal.]
 Dave was very specific about the singer and stage and what we were to do. I forgot. This instruction went in one ear and out the other.
So, I served the dinners and stayed and hung around the table filling water glasses while the tuxedo guy was singing Sinatra
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see Dave – maitre’d – walking towards me.  Then, I remembered, “I am not supposed to be here.”
I will admit that Dave was displeased, he told me what I had done wrong. I would not say he was angry.  That would take it too far. He was frustrated and even raising his voice. But, he was not angry, because anger is something we hold on to and dig into ..and I could tell that he just wanted to tell me, let it go…and then it was over.
And, we both moved on.
Recently, I saw him and told him. We are both older now and thanked him, for it is a moment I recall that displeasure or discontent does not have to lead to anger.
(Also: the importance also speaking one-on-one – personally – to someone when I might be distressed or displeased myself.)
It does not have to be destructive. It does not have to lead to death.  Jesus wants to lead us to life.[_fin_]  

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